What hurts the most about being ignored is that its happened repeatedly by the same person. The one person that I want to talk to has no disregard towards my feelings. I understand that things change over time but this isn’t fair. I put you on a fucking pedestal while I’m probably not even worth a tenth of a penny. I don’t even know why I still try when I know it’s the same thing over and over again.
So many questions always run through my head like, “Where am I going to apply? Are my grades high enough? How am I going to afford college? What do I even want to do? Am I going to be successful? Am I going to be happy?” I already narrowed down what I considered doing as a career but when I think about it again, I don’t know if I’m actually going to pursue it. There really isn’t that much time left for me to decide about what I’m going to be doing for the rest of my life. I never thought that this point in my life would come so fast. It seems just like yesterday that the only thing I worried about was if I’m going to get the 50pack of color pencils. And today, I’m worrying about what the hell I’m doing with my life and where it’s going to lead me.
You may not see it now, but I know you will soon. I’m not saying things will get better, because I know they just do. Relationships may shatter, but your heart won’t. You blame yourself now, then you realize it’s really no one’s fault. The people you knew never changed, they just tapped into a…
I’m slowly coming to realize that I never mean what I say. I always say what people expect me to say. I feel like there’s no actual meaning behind my words anymore. It just seems like I’m only saying things to make people happy.
I feel like I’m cheating people out of their emotions. Not only am I lying to them but I’m lying to myself as well. Definitely a lose-lose situation.
I hate how you only text me because you have no one else to talk to. Am I just a last resort to you? Because it clearly shows how much everything has shifted. I’m definitely not as important to you as I used to be.
If you’re the one who asks me to hang out with you, why do I have to plan it? What the fuck, don’t always pin this shit on me and assume I know what to do. I can’t magically pull out plans out of my ass.
It annoys the fuck outta me when my family thinks I’m incapable of doing anything. If I was really that incapable that they perceive me to be, why the fuck am I still doing anything at all? I’d appreciate it if my family didn’t doubt me so much and actually believe that I can mount to something in life. Just because I make a lot of mistakes doesn’t mean I’m doomed to be a failure forever.
If I come to you for advice, don’t give me pity. I’m not going to feel any better if all you say is, “Dudeeee, that sucks!! I feel so bad for you. :(” Seriously? Lol. At least give me something to work with like some inspirational bullshit.
I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing when people move on quickly. I guess it just depends on how the person handles the situation.
Example #1: Couple breaks up. They both move on because they realize at some point, all good things come to an end and not everyone is meant to be together.
Example #2: Couple breaks up. Guy/girl starts rebounding and using other people.
Seriously though, when did it become a bad thing to move on? I thought moving on was suppose to be a good thing. Regardless of how fast or how slow it takes you to bounce back. If I decided to move on quickly, does that make me a bad person? No, it just means that I know what’s right for me and what’s right for me doesn’t include dwelling in the past.
I had the worst scare last night. I was still kinda awake after my trip to the bathroom at around 5. As I was trying to go back to sleep, my door opens. I heard footsteps coming near me and my heart started beating so fast. I THOUGHT MY LIFE WAS GOING TO END RIGHT THERE!! I honestly didn’t know who it was since I didn’t want to turn around. Whoever was in my room left but fuck, I was scared shitless. WHO WALKS INTO OTHER PEOPLES’ ROOMS AT 5AM!?!?!? This is why I’m scared to sleep, I always think someone is going to come in my room and kill me. :’((((
Life is more fragile than I thought. It takes nine long months to bring everyone into this world and only seconds to take us out. I really am grateful to have been given the opportunity to walk this earth and to be able to cross paths with other people. Even though Bo wasn’t able to live out her life, she still left something behind. She graced everyone with her smile and kindness. She was pure-hearted and always had good intentions. She made me realize that I have to be thankful and cherish everything that I have. Even though I wasn’t able to get to know her better, she still touched my heart. She made her mark in my life and I couldn’t ask for more. Thank you so much, Bo. Because of you, I want to better myself as a person not only for myself, but for others as well. You will truly be missed.
"Be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle."